I haven’t picked up my camera in nearly ten years. There have been odd shots of the cats here and there where I’ve had it to hand, but for the most part I had given up photography altogether. I don’t know where the time has gone. Ten years? Ten years since I finished my MA and ten years of having nothing to show for it  doesn’t feel great,  but I’m only  just feeling ready to start being creative again. 

I have put all my energy into doing my 9-5 well, and progressing through the ranks in pursuit of stability. I can’t distinguish any one of the last five years from each other and that is starting to weigh on me a bit, so I am really craving anything that will help me remember or feel that each day is different from the next. 

I took a day off work last Friday after a gruelling month of long work days, and decided to grab a train to New Mills. I had been once before, but only for an afternoon of beer-drinking, so I didn’t get to appreciate much of the surroundings. When I got off the train, I couldn’t even remember how to set my camera settings, which is really embarrassing to admit, but I was really lost and frustrated by it all. 

I made my way to Torr Vale Mill, and started to walk through the trails, grateful to be in such a beautiful place on a sunny day. It took awhile, but I eventually found my footing and remembered how to use my camera and started taking odd shots here and there. I wasn’t really thrilled with any of them, but I did enjoy adventuring around (and the beautiful white noise of the mill!). I ambled around for an hour and a bit, had a half-pint at the pub, and then made my way back home. When I got in, I didn’t bother looking at what I had shot because I didn’t really think I had captured anything worthwhile, plus the cats were mad I had left them all day so I had other priorities. 

A few nights on, rather than spend the evening binge-watching ER, I decided to sift through the photos and was pleasantly surprised that some of them were not completely terrible. I loaded them into Photoshop and started to mess around with them, and it really felt like home. It made me really nostalgic for the days of shooting every day, uploading to Flickr, to Tumblr, to my website, messing around in Photoshop, listening to music, and just spending my evenings after work in a more playful headspace, rather than just lying around trying to recover from a taxing day. None of the photos I’m posting here are spectacular, but it was a pleasure to create them just the same.

I don’t think there is a point to this long and rambling story, other than to say I’m annoyed at myself for staying away from photography for so long. The prospect of writing some blog posts, taking some photos, and putting them out there is all I really need to feel motivated to be creative. So that’s what I’ll do, at least for now.